The Secret to Transforming Disappointing Relationships into True, Lasting Love

Both light and shadow are the dance of love – Poet Rumi

We often hear about the power of love but often feel we either fall short of its potent power or believe that we are not good enough to deserve it.

So… what is Love and why has it been the main subject of all human experience?

There are initially what seems to be two forms of love: conditional and unconditional – then we recognize there is only the power of one love… our authenticity born of living as Being itself: nondual love…

All of us feel love as an energy that seems to pull us towards others and experience… we are conditioned from early experience that love is given and received on a conditional basis of having to somehow compromise on the truth of who we really are Self-Soul…

Based on this conditionality we chase after people and circumstances to recreate temporary feels of connection and elation followed by disappointment and a deep yearning for something more profound… unconditional love…

All of us have experienced the chase after love and then the let down after it peaks. So what’s really going on in this euphoric grasping after the glow of love and the feeling of depletion?

The core of this cycle is the belief that love will come from others and situations.

That somehow we will have that wow-awe feeling of the initial stages forever as long as the outer forms are perfect…

This pattern has proven to feel empty…

Conditional love happens when the perfect moment of our desires is met by the outer form that seems to be exactly what we want for that “forever” love.

How can this be so when people and situations always change? There is no such stable space within the matrix of conditionality because it is based on impermanence… the truth is that everything is always in a state of change…

Rumi reminds us in his quote that love is unconditional and through that way of loving all of our suffering due to our separation from Self will be healed and we will experience our own fullness-wholeness, which is what real LOVE is.

From the space of our own wholeness…. love shines endlessly without conditions and embraces all people and all circumstances.

Unconditional love endures… unconditional love expresses itself without expectations and hopes of reciprocity.

In our everyday conditional love, we are in a constant state of exchanging expectations to keep love going… this creates great disappointment.

Rumi encourages us to see that all of who we are… the light (aspects of self we embrace) and the shadow (aspects we deny and suppress) are the expressions of the light of love.

When the sun shines, the rays will die the pass through a cloudless sky or a sky full of clouds, either way, the rays are still light… 

Therefore, unconditional love is the source of all experience and therefore light and shadow are simply the expression of the Self… 

Once we recognize that we are fundamentally Whole, then love will flow from within instead of waiting for it to come from the outside.

Unconditional love is synonymous with wholeness… let’s all recognize our inherent goodness and let love flow and then we will experience the depths of relationships we have yearned for our entire lives.

 

About Alex Boianghu

Journey to Wholeness - About Alex Boianghu - Psychotherapist | LoveWith Journey to Wholeness, my aim is to make psychotherapy readily available to everyone around the world in the comfort and privacy of their homes.

From my perspective, the goal of therapy is to let go of outdated ways of living that make you feel “stuck” or “in survival mode”, so that you can live in freedom, joy and success. You can learn more about me here.

In addition to psychotherapy, I am offering a variety of courses, practices, articles and videos covering a wide range of psycho-spiritual topics. Please feel free to get in touch with me for a free 15-minute consultation in which we can address your questions and discuss a plan of action for your specific needs.

I am deeply moved to walk together on the path of healing with YOU.  Join me!

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