Compulsions and obsessions are the extreme expressions at grasping with the belief that the objects grasped will provide relief and satisfaction.
What we inevitability create through this cycle is suffering because the subject-object duality is reinforced in compulsions. There is the belief in the existence of a subject that is deficient and unworthy that can find an object that will fill the need of the subject.
We all know how that works… SUFFERING.
How do we work with this process to conquer compulsions and obsessions?
1) Imagine all the objects at which you are grasping and see them as though they are in front of you, visualize laying out all the objects. You externalize them in essence.
2) Now turn your attention to the immediate feeling tone after the externalization… At first this will feel very intense because there will be a sense of missing something followed by the initial tendency to reach out for the object.
So stay focused on the intensity until it subsides a bit.
3) Now turn your attention to the energy that upholds the feeling of lack. You will notice a grasping desperation, an intensity that is seeking to avoid the sense of lack. You can use a simple visualization: Imagine a pair of hands gripping the anxiety and lack before it moves outwards to the object… Now slowly see the hands releasing the sense of lack.
4) Now there will be an intermediate moment where a sense of nothingness, a void, a blank space appears… This is the transitional phase that obsession avoids at all cost.
Here is why: remember obsessions keep away from lack, which arises out of a need to fill up the deepest fear we have of our own lack of solid existence.
We know that the imagined self is illusory, we know this… We feel this intimately. Yet we have spent our entire lives running away from the mirage. So…. stay present with the void.. explore it until you recognize its fullness… it is not empty. It fills up all of existence and it is empty of the imaginary self… this is key. IT IS EMPTY OF IMAGINARY SELF.
5) Enjoy the fullness and the sense of true SELF inseparable from the fullness.
About Alex Boianghu
With Journey to Wholeness, my aim is to make psychotherapy readily available to everyone around the world in the comfort and privacy of their homes.
Integrative psychotherapy is a journey which explores all aspects of the psyche through a mutual process of understanding through self-inquiry.
I have been trained in both Eastern and Western psychology and philosophy, and I approach therapy in a way that integrates insights from both traditions. In addition, I have specialized in addiction and trauma treatment for the last 12 years and I incorporate EMDR method (Eye Movement Desensitization and Re-processsing) as the cutting-edge tool towards healing.
I am also trained as a Couples’ Therapist and work with couples through all stages of relationship in helping them understand and heal themselves within the context of relationship.
From my perspective, the goal of therapy is to let go of outdated ways of living that make you feel “stuck” or “in survival mode”, so that you can live in freedom, joy and success.
In addition to psychotherapy, I am offering a variety of courses, practices, articles and videos covering a wide range of psycho-spiritual topics. Please feel free to get in touch with me for a free 15-minute consultation in which we can address your questions and discuss a plan of action for your specific needs.
I am deeply moved to walk together on the path of healing with YOU. Join me!
